How to use Jdate?

Someone found my site yesterday after searching the words “how to use jdate.”

My first reaction when I saw this was that I should write a user’s manual for the Jdate user. My second reaction? “God, I wouldn’t know where to start!”

I guess rule number one would be:

Use as little as possible

Jdate is so quirky and expensive that I use it as little as possible.

Look, I cannot deny that Jdate offers the most important thing. Namely, a huge database of single Jews. But at the same time their site is based off technology that is so painfully outdated and buggy that it’s shameful. I mean, if the site were free, I couldn’t call it shameful. But for 129NIS/month?! The site has quirks that go beyond fair considering it’s a paid service.

Jdate is not compatible with Chrome and I doubt it’s truly compatible with any newer browser (should we all be using Internet Explorer 6, dear Jdate?). The chat is so wonky that almost any chat I have with members begins with, “Oh, one second. I can’t see anything. Wait…. Oh, did you write something? Ah! Was that a smiley? Ugh. Jdate chat sucks.” “Yeah, I hate it too.”

(Does make me wonder how much of it is that we love to hate it :)

Get ready for a joy ride when you use the Jdate chat

When I chat on Jdate in Chrome in Hebrew (I am not sure which browsers have this itty bitty tiny, inconsequential quirk), the conversation is shown backwards. I bolded that in case you wouldn’t believe me if it was in regular font.

Yes, the words show in backwards order. I know, that’s better than if all letters were backwards but, needless to say, this is quite the ridiculous experience.

Ah, you need an example? OK fine, here you go:

So, I write:

שלום. שמי דינה. מה שלומך?

What I see after I click enter is:

שלומך מה דינה שמי שלום.

It could drive the most patient of women crazy (and I am not one of those patient women!).

Have both and .com open simultaneously

Don’t forget that when you’re logged into the Israeli version, you can’t read the free text sections of people’s profiles who are using the .com version. And yes, visa versa.

You can read my post about this issue here. Interestingly, they seem to consider this a totally legitimate quirk for a service that costs 129NIS(!) a month. (No, if I ever pay you, it will not be for more than a month at a time so I don’t care about your cheaper prices if I pay you for three or six months.)

What most infuriates me about this huge bug is that they seem to think it totally fine not to actually mention this problem in any noticeable spot. This fact infuriates me more than anything else about this problem. It is probably this in itself that makes me feel like it’s almost my duty to spell out their quirks for them. If they at least openly acknowledged the issues they have with their site and if, ideally, they admitted the need to look into upgrading their site, I would at least be able to respect that and possibly even give them my money a little more often.

Think about it… I have put a lot of effort into my profile and yet, since I signed up through the .com site, so many Israeli guys probably see my profile and just move on because they see me as not serious, as someone who couldn’t even take the time to fill out her profile.

The fact they let us use their site for years without a word about it in a prominant place (I don’t know if it’s mentioned anywhere in the “small print” of the site)… That they’ve never tried to at least have a message show when you’re viewing a profile from one site while logged into another site… The fact they haven’t come up with any solution for this in all this time (I wonder how long this problem has existed and have they given it any thought?)… Unless I hear something other than what I know already, it actually seems very sneaky, to try to get away with such a huge bug in a paid service.

Mute your computer

The chat sounds on Jdate are to die for. Nuff said.

Use it anyway

That’s the crazy part, ay? We still will use it. We all complain about it but we keep using it. Because with such a huge database of Jewish singles, nothing else can compete.

That is why I always push two things:

1. Jewish singles should use OKCupid more and

2. Jdate should shape up and get a freakin’ new site. (I happen to know a great web development company, hint hint hint.) :)

Some other tips for Jdate usage

1. If you want to use it without paying, keep it open and paid members will be able to start a chat with you. If someone tickles your fancy during a chat, make sure to get their email addresses before ending the chat so you can get back in touch with them without having to pay.

2. In general, the more you leave the site open on your computer, the more messages you’ll receive.

3. Really – have both .com and sites open if you’re using the site in Israel. If it looks like someone wrote nothing in their profile, consider the possibility that you’re viewing it through the “wrong” site.

4. Buy all the extra things they want to sell you! :)

What’s next?

You know, the last time I blogged about the terrible problems with their site, I immediately got a reply from one of their reps. I wonder what they’ll have to say this time. Maybe they’ll tell me they’ve begun development on a new site????

Anyway, considering the status quo of Jdate, what else would you recommend keeping in mind while using the site?

P.S. Haha. Just to prove how active Jdate users are (and how many there are), I opened up the site while writing this post in order to check something out (you know, pure research) and I received two new messages during that short time. See why people use it?!

P.P.S. Don’t actually turn off the sound or else you’ll never hear if someone is trying to start a chat with you.

Image by Allison Joy on flickr.

11 thoughts on “How to use Jdate?

  1. Deena,

    After your last post on this subject,I signed up for OKCupid. Here’s the scoop: It must work great for singles IN Israel. Here in the states, I contacted one observant Jew,one formerly observant Jew, and a lot of women who liked dating while married, etc. I don’t recommend it for anyone in the USA.

    JDate: Must be a problem with the Israeli site. I used it fine on Chrome, and found several religious women. The trick is in the preferences. Look for someone who keeps kosher. Most likely, s/he also will be Shomer Shabbat, etc.


    • Nathaniel, I can definitely see how currently, using OKCupid if you want to date only Jews, and especially if you only want to date religious people, probably won’t work.

      Too bad!

      As for Jdate’s problems, yes, they mainly will happen once you start looking at profiles of people who signed up through a different Jdate site. In the USA that is probably almost never a problem because most people there are Americans who signed up through .com and are looking at other .com profiles.

      But think about it… If you’ve ever looked at women’s profiles who are Israeli living in the US, it is very possible you aren’t seeing their whole profile. It wouldn’t even cross your mind that it’s the site’s fault. You’ll just assume that she didn’t write anything in the open text sections of her profile.

      So you might come across this problem without realizing you’re looking at it.

  2. Bakh, all these sites are useless. Except for the yeshivish/haredi women, it seems none of the women ever reply to messages they receive. On Frumster, JDate, and OKCupid, I’ve long since viewed the profiles of every woman who meets my search criteria, and written messages to everyone I’m interested. Nothing. So what’s left? Meh.

  3. One conversation with one woman on OKCupid went like this: after reading her cryptic but intriguing profile…

    Me: Howdy. Okay, so you’ve piqued my curiosity: in what ways are you liberal yet conservative?

    Her: Howdy do! Well than, i guess i played it right with the description, curiosity was my intention. i wouldnt want to elaborate on the matter and ruin a good boy like you ;)

    Me: What? LOL So you’ll just leave me wondering?

    Her: In did so

    Me: So if I ask you anything else, will you be equally cryptic?

    Her: זה תלוי..נסה

    At that point, I quit. Who needs this nonsense?

    • Michael, very aggravating that people don’t answer you!

      As for the convo you wrote here, she was unsuccessful attempting to be playful. :) That is where all this fake-ish kind of communication: mainly email, chat and sms, are useless and really quite a shame.

      I recently was chatting with someone and I wouldn’t allow him to call me. I wanted to get to know him better by chat first (similar situation – he seemed cryptic). But we were having the most annoying chat (which even more so made me not want to talk to him on the phone).

      Finally he had enough of chatting and he called me (there was a reason he already had my phone number which doesn’t matter here). Then we had a much more normal phone conversation and then decided to meet in person.

      It didn’t go beyond one date but with chat, it wouldn’t have gone anywhere at all.

      I see that a lot of Israeli guys immediately opt to phone. I don’t always like it but I can definitely see the sense in it.

      • Playful schmayful, if she refuses to reply with anything, what kind of conversation would it be? I can imagine myself spending an hour thinking of a hundred different questions to ask, and getting the same response to each one. Bakh.

        • But Michael, don’t you see? You only asked her one question. You gave her one chance. If you’d asked her one more question and she again was cryptic, fine. But you didn’t even check your theory. You just assumed that because of how she answered your first question (which, btw, was a super heavy question to ask in a chat and in a first conversation), she would never answer any questions you’d ask. You have no proof of that.

          • She said, “זה תלוי”! To my ear, that’s a euphemism for, “probably”. The “נסה” sounds like a challenge; “go ahead, try and make me say anything interesting; I dare you”.

  4. In my opinion it was a challenge in a playful way. One that I don’t think should be beyond a man. The challenge is for the man to show interest, to put in some effort even if the woman isn’t yet being forthcoming with her interest towards the man.

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