Comments on: First Date

By: Deena

Deena — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:36:16 +0000

Long-timer, we really appreciate the time you’re taking to tell us what you think. Your feedback is very important and we want you to know that we are seriously discussing what you said and deciding how we can make the site better using your feedback. Thank you so much for making an effort to share your thoughts with us!

Also, by the way, in the blog (the front page) there are posts by me and by Vera. I tend towards seriousness and Vera towards humour (though both our posts usually have serious ideas behind them). If seriousness attracts you more right now, you can always focus more on my writing. As for the rules, we’re spending a lot of time on them right now, trying to figure out how to improve them.

Thanks!

By: Long-timer

Long-timer — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 11:35:29 +0000

I’m for change – but does it have to include childish games? If you’ve asked these questions on your last date and you and your partner enjoyed it, then please share the experience and I’ll be willing to hear more. Talking about the latest books \ movies \ lecture is not original but I may learn something and it’s a fairly neutral topic.
I’m very impressed with your site, but I can’t help the feeling that instead of focusing on making dating fun you’re focused on making your web site funny.

By: Deena

Deena — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:04:28 +0000

Hey Long-timer,

Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and opinions with us on the topics we’re discussing here. Our lists and rules are a definite work in progress. As we explain in our About page, one thing we know for sure: Something has to change. What? How? We’re trying to figure it out. But there are so many bad feelings connected to the dating world and it’s just so hard for those of us who end up dating for years with the goal of marriage but without reaching that goal. Something has to change. We need to at least try! (Please feel free to read the About for more of our thoughts behind the site.)

That being said, our questions are based on a certain idea. The idea being that feeling a bit more light-hearted while on a first date might open up people more. Since you have proclaimed yourself a long-time dater, I will assume you have been on many first dates. The more first dates we have to go on, the harder it is (at least that is my experience). So, imagine if something could change about that first date that somehow made it not as big a deal?

Do you have ideas of questions you think could be helpful to bring out the best in two strangers thrown together for a couple of hours, both having either really high or really low expectations of each other? : )

One more thing: All changes are very difficult and because the current norm is different than the rules we’ve written here, it’s hard to imagine them. But I wonder, if this did become the new norm, then how would it feel? In other words, we’re considering these new rules within the current accepted norms. If the accepted norms changed, maybe it wouldn’t seem so weird? Maybe dating could be more enjoyable. Don’t we all wish!

Vera and I would love to know: What do you wish was different on a first date?

Please continue to read and comment. Very nice to hear from you. Good luck!

By: Long-timer in the bog

Long-timer in the bog — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:04:22 +0000

Sorry, but I’m dissapointed with this list of questions and suggestions… too many of them are too silly. I wouldn’t want to be asked most of the questions above or be made to get up in the middle of my coffee. In an ideal world, dating would be a fun thing to do – you go out to a nice place, meet an interesting person and have fun. This isn’t an ideal world. I’ve been on too many dates, answered too many strange questions from questionable people, and on the first date, I’m just aiming for pleasant, not original – that can come later.
If this site is meant as a fun way to pass the time while waiting for Mr.\Ms. Right, then of course, please disregard my comment. If you seriously want to help, concrete suggestions would be good. There are many people who really don’t know what to talk about on the first date, which may be why they are still dating after all these years.