The game

This page and these ideas are presented mainly by Vera.  Deena just isn’t weird enough for this one (though she’s getting there, A+ for effort).  But the revolutionary re-set button concept (see first date) is hers, all hers.

This page is for those of you who are:

a.  bored with dates in general
b.  tired of telling people how many brothers and sisters you have
c.  wish the whole thing could be more fun
d.  looking for something to read while checking your e-mail…
e. willing to try something different
f. really, truly, open minded (if you hear the wind whistling between your ears you probably qualify) (and yes, I do)

Do you dare to do things differently?  Do you dare to play the game? Has to be “you” plural, as this is a game for consenting adults only.

See, it’s like this; there are different ways to behave on a date:
1.  You can be very serious, talk about hashkofes, chumres, with a side order of mussar and the importance of tzniyes.
2.  You can be very superficial, talk about sports, tv shows, or Jewish geography.  Now that’s a really good way to get to know each other (not):

He:  ”Did you know my auntie Estie married a Schwartzberger?”
She:   “Oh what a coincidence! my uncle Yankie’s father-in-law was a Schwartzberger”
Unison:  ”Wow, it’s such a small world!”
Silence.

Since when did you actually get to know someone from these questions?  Ladies, do your average shidduch questions give you any idea whether this is a guy who will get you “Chunky Monkey” at 2 a.m. because you have a craving?  And guys – really, does this kind of convo reveal whether your potential partner is the kind of person to haul you out in the middle of the night when you have 102 fever to buy her “Chunky Monkey” cos she has a craving?

‘Fess up, don’t you ever have moments on a date where you feel a boring question bubbling up to the surface and feel like taking a sledgehammer to your date before he/she gets the sentence out?  This is for long-time daters – the newbies amongst you probably have no idea what I’m talking about.  And no, I didn’t use a sledgehammer, just put meds in their drinks… (manic laughter offstage)

Truth is, conversation that is too serious or too shallow doesn’t allow two people to truly start to get to know each other.  That’s my belief anyway, fueled by many boring dates and Jewish geography/hashkofa questions.  So I’m suggesting a framework of questions for the first date that won’t take you into the totally serious, but won’t take you necessarily into the certifiably inane (unless that’s where you want to go, of course)

If you’re willing to lighten up, to take a path that avoids unstructured superficiality or excessive seriousness, take a look at the questions that I’m suggesting for the first call and first date.  If you’re interested in trying out The Game, text your date before the first call, send her/him the habitza.com address and ask if he/she is willing to play.

You will most definitely receive a virtual cup of coffee from us if you actually try these questions out on a date (and let us know what you thought of them)!

For more about The Game, click on the links below.

The first call – remember, before you do this make sure your date has agreed to play the game.

The first date – use the questions (and the reset button if necessary) to help lighten up, relax and actually enjoy the date