Today I woke up so depressed. I got up thinking, How am I supposed to continue on? I want to be in a true, deep and meaningful relationship so badly, it hurts. As much as I might be living a meaningful life, I can’t think of anything that could make up for this huge gap.
I also can’t think of anything I can do to make this happen faster than it’s planned to happen. I have no way to know when it’ll happen, if at all.
I walk around smiling, maybe a large majority of the time basically happy. Sometimes really very happy. But this is what I want and I miss it painfully.
Benji Lovitt asked advice on women from his cab driver. Probably the most amusing part is getting to actually “hear” what Benji is thinking in captions during the conversation.
So cool. I was shown two videos today, both about not saying what you’re really feeling. Both are really fun, engaging videos to watch. Let me know what you think.
A friend just showed me this fake reality show (real but fake, fake but real, real-ish…) about Jews dating through the site jmatch. It’s called From Date to Mate. It’s basically an opportunity to see how silly you look on a first date. :)
OK, I’m being mean. Look, there are four episodes available here and I just watched all of them. That’s almost two hours of my life I just spent on this. I found it interesting to see where they took it and I sort of watched in awe the whole time trying to decide what I think of the show, the people, the characters, the script, the camera-work, NYC, the USA, Diaspora Jewry, non-kosher food, and all the other things the show touches on.
I also found a blog post supposedly written by the actress who plays Sarah in the show. She says that it’s partially scripted which is a pretty interesting way to make a show.
Let me know what you think of it! Anyone know why they haven’t posted any more episodes?
Here you get to watch a 95 year old man and his 90 year old wife laugh about their 65 years of marriage. I say laugh because that is something they do a lot of in this short video. Enjoy! I hope it’ll make you smile. (It’s in Hebrew.)
A facebook friend just posted one of the sweetest videos I’ve ever seen. It’s about a guy who sincerely sees beauty in everyone, and actually tells the people the good that he sees which, in turn, bringing that beauty out in them. As the viewer, you might be thinking, “What a nerd” or “She’s just an old lady” but when the guy makes them smile from true happiness, suddenly they don’t look so plain anymore…
Taaaaaaaaaaaaake that into the dating world… We can be quite scrutinizing on dates. I think, at least with me, it’s a defense mechanism (defense from what, is a whole other question). We are very reserved. Most of the time we’re not exactly lauding each other’s praises on dates. Maybe you’ll get a little compliment here and there and any more than that and it’s already considered weird.
But maybe there’s something to it. What would happen if we actually complimented each other more on dates? Would that create more of an openness towards each other? Would it help us see the good in each other?
I do not promote fakeness at all but maybe it would be nice if more of an openness was created through more complimenting.
I know, the video is a whole 16:32 minutes long but please watch it! And let me know what you think.
So, like, I went to this amazing party at the bitza, and then this frog comes and starts up with me!
So I’m, like, “but you’re a frog! what are you doing here?”
So he goes, “I’m not really a frog, I’m really a prince, but I need to be loved for my personality..”
So I go “yuk! so uncool…” and then this super good-looking, hunky type comes up to me and says
“Hi” in a really neat voice, and I squeaked “you’re Prince Charming! I know who you are!”
And he goes “well, I’m not really Prince Charming, I’m actually a frog trying to find a date…”
And I go “yuk! this sucks!”, and then someone near me says “hi” in this voice that sounds like Antonio Banderas, and it’s
Puss in Boots! And he says “I’m not really Puss in Boots, I’m actually a very wealthy businessman looking for a soulmate, and you look like my cinderella!”
So, like, I couldn’t stop myself, I said “I’m not really cinderella, I’m really…”
The moral of the story is, as taught in a shiur by Shirley Bassey (a.k.a. Burly Chassis):
And some lyrics, for those who are youtubeaudio challenged…
I am what I am
I am my own special creation
So come take a look
Give me the hook or the ovation
It’s my world that I want to have a little pride in
My world and it’s not a place I have to hide in
Life’s not worth a damn till you can say
Hey world I am what I am
I am what I am
I don’t want praise
I don’t want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it’s noise
I think it’s pretty
And so what if I love each feather and each spangle
Why not try and see things from a different angle
Your life is a sham till you can say
Hey world I am what I am
I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the ace
Sometimes the deuces
It’s my life and there’s no return and no deposit
One life, so it’s time to open up your closet
Life’s not worth a damn till you can say
Hey world I am what I am
mickeymouse prince photo by smarhero at flickr boots photo by wonderferret at flickr wicked stepmother photo by dawnzy58 at flickr
I really want to know, on an emotional level, how many singles feel like their lives revolve around being single?
Theoretical single’s thoughts:
“Maybe I should *I’m single* go to the supermarket today *I don’t want to be single*.”
“Hmmm *I’m still single*… what do I *I’m so single* feel like eating?”
“Should I get *single* together *single*with Tracy this e*yep, still single*vening?” (Yes, Tracy. Have a problem with that choice of name?)
Look, it’s not me, I promise! :) I mentioned to someone else, “It’s all about being single, isn’t it?” And she quickly agreed. She makes sure to do things with her life. She’s not one of those blatantly depressed singles (chas veshalom that we should actually show people how we feel – right?) but for many singles, in the end, it all boils down to that.
When I practiced as a dietitian (don’t tell anyone), I once heard a fellow dietitian say about herself:
“תמיד יש את ה-4 קילו שעומדים ביני לבין האושר.”
That means: There are always the four kilos standing between me and happiness.
Love it!
And hate it. :(
But seriously, most of us have a (hopefully short) list of things that we believe really do stand between us and happiness. We think that “if only” a couple specific things were different, we’d be truly happy. And often those things are on our minds a lot of the time. Waste of energy? I’d say! But hard to overcome? Definitely.
For many of us (of course, not including me… *clears throat* *I’m single*), being single is HUUUUUUGE. It is that pink elephant in the room, whether others see us that way or not. But is this a bad thing? I’d guess that someone who’s been single a very long time will probably say it’s best to give this aspect of singlehood up. It definitely can make a person miserable. But besides the misery (OK, fine, that’s important but for academia’s sake), would this attitude impede finding a match, quicken the process or neither?
Habitza (heb.) means the swamp. It is the name given to the singles scene in Katamon, Jerusalem.
Any connotations involving frogs, princesses, etc. are purely coincidental. Any characters referred to are totally fictional and any perceived similarities derive from your overactive imagination.
