HaBitza

I wonder, do you think you’re a good listener? Maybe you do. But especially if you’re a guy, chances are very high that there is room for improvement in your listening skills  (speaking from all my date experience). My main complaint after almost every single first date is that I didn’t feel like the guy really listened to me (aka, it felt like he wasn’t totally paying attention, he talked about himself way too much and he didn’t ask enough questions).

Look, it’s also my fault in a way because I’m a damn good listener and I think it blows people away. I mean, it’s exciting to have someone really listen to you and show interest, right? Especially since people are so easily distracted since the start of the cell phone era.

Of course all of this is extremely unfortunate because, alas, I do need someone who will actually listen to me.

Sigh…

But now my hope has been restored! Yay!

Please… for me and for the good of humanity, I think you should take this very telling listening test. Imagine finally knowing the truth about your listening skills!

You’ll need to find someone you associate with closely and ask them to answer the following 10 questions. (Honestly.)

The ultimate (or whatever) listening test

1. During the past two weeks, can you recall an incident where you thought I was not listening to you?
2. When you are talking to me, do you feel relaxed at least 90 percent of the time?
3. When you are talking to me, do I maintain eye contact with you most of the time?
4. Do I get defensive when you tell me things with which I disagree?
5. When talking to me, do I often ask questions to clarify what you are saying?
6. In a conversation, do I sometimes overreact to information?
7. Do I ever jump in and finish what you are saying?
8. Do I often change my opinion after talking something over with you?
9. When you are trying to communicate something to me, do I often do too much of the talking?
10. When you are talking to me, do I often play with a pen, pencil, my keys, or something else on my desk?

Sorry I’m not giving credit to anyone for this. A few sites published it so it’s hard to tell which is the source.

And now what?

Well, if you’re a great listener, then good on you and here is my phone number. :)

If you aren’t… Well, I’d just like to take this opportunity to warn you that it’ll take a really concerted effort to improve because, as a pretty damn good listener myself, I can tell you that really listening to someone so that they feel listened to, takes quite a lot of effort. Among other things, you’ll need to think about yourself less, feel comfortable just letting someone else talk, use some serious power of concentration and be patient.

But I believe in you.

And really the bottom line is that it’s all worth it because the benefits of being a good listener are that you get to make other people feel good and you’ll get the opportunity to really get to know some awesome people (who will remain nameless) who otherwise wouldn’t have been able to communicate with you beyond a first date.

Image by Brett Jordan on flickr.