Matchmaker, hold your tongue.
If matchmaking is difficult for the Great Creator, how difficult must it be for us measly humans. And yet some brave souls take on the task of making matches.
That being said… There should probably be a way for matchmakers to track their success and according to the results, decide if they should continue in that field or find something (probably with less human emotion on the line) to do.
Please understand, I don’t only mean success regarding percentages of matches made. I also mean as far as the general sensitivity towards the clients and the shadchan’s ability not to scar them.
A truly adorable story
Someone just told me that when a guy didn’t want to go out with her again, their matchmaker was sure to tell her that it was because he wasn’t attracted to her. She felt it was important the girl know that it was “only” that and nothing else.
Thanks, dear Matchmaker. I feel so much better now. Phew!
That is one thing you don’t say.
Or did you not read the manual? No reason to give anyone negative feedback they can’t do anything productive with. And, we feel down on ourselves enough as it is. No reason to remind us that we’re meeting total strangers who also don’t find us attractive.
I know that the shadchanit supposedly had good intentions but good intentions get you only so far. If you don’t know the basic rule:
There is almost never a reason, ever, to tell someone that they weren’t attractive to their date,
then that is a pretty big red light, if you ask me.
Give the matchmaker a chance.
Of course matchmakers are people too and they deserve to be given more than one little chance. If said matchmaker is usually sensitive and does not normally emotionally scar her clients or, maybe even better, if the matchmaker is open to hearing feedback, takes it seriously, and tries to improve, then I wouldn’t make too big a deal out of it. But if it were to turn out that she is insensitive more than a couple of times, I say dump the matchmaker and express your opinion she find a less dangerous job.