Please note: this post was triggered by the following comment – but is in no way addressed specifically to this person. Critique of an entire gender is so commonplace now it’s become an accepted norm, a subject of discussion. There are times when we all (married, single and anywhere in-between) need to examine ourselves, need to re-assess how we talk about others and how we relate.
Just a guy:
I am not just hurt. I am not just broken. I am ANGRY. I cannot have a meaningful relationship with a woman now. I have tried. Lord I have tried! I was SUCKED DRY. Every inch of my soul is simply burning with pain from the HORRORS I underwent BECAUSE OF YOUR GENDER!
So many people, men and women, single, married, divorced have been through bad experiences. Some say it’s only the men, some say it’s only the women, and some say they deserve each other.
But get real – question is, do you, does anyone want to stay with such feelings? To carry on treading the same rut?
And do you, just a guy, want to be considered as just a guy? a man? (or amongst the macho, a real man?) or a person? I address the same question to the women who malign men day in day out – do you want to be considered as a woman first – or as a person?
When Deena and I gave the original tag line to this site, we called it “Date like a Mensch” – not like a man, or like a woman. “Menschlichkeit”, behaving like a mensch, comes before and way above sexuality in relationships. Without it marriages can’t work, relationships can’t work, and let’s face it, even a single date can’t work.
To malign an entire gender is not menschlich – whether it comes from a man or a woman. And beyond that, for anyone wanting to get married – it’s not useful, not helpful, and serves to distort the soul.
Move on, look for the individual, look for the good in that individual, and be aware of your power in relationships, because even the one who feels so much like a victim has power if he/she would only wake up to it.
But repeating complaints without purpose – unless, just-a-guy and others, you’re trying to convince yourself to enter a monastery or a single-sexrelationship – is just that, without purpose.
Date like a mensch. That is the only way to go.