Words, words, words…
Words words words – what do they really mean?
Did he really mean xyz when he said that?
Did she really mean xzy when she answered?
I know you said… but what did you mean… and did you mean….?
Anyone who knows the old joke about Moshe Rabbenu saying to G-d: “do you mean that we should….” hands up. Anyone who doesn’t – maybe I’ll post it. Or maybe not.
Recently I’ve heard of several situations where people said things that other people thought meant something different. If your date says: “Good Luck” at the end of the date – does it mean “Good Bye”? (or possibly “Good Riddance”?) I knew someone who said to a friend, when the friend said she doesn’t like cleaning, “I wouldn’t expect my wife to clean” – and the friend went into agonies of “what did he mean? Does he want something more than friendship?”
And to be honest, how much do we play with words, how much are we almost deliberately ambiguous, to leave a door open, or to mess with someone’s head? And yes, it can be fun…
I think if we all start measuring our words very carefully to say exactly what we mean all the time…life will probably get very boring. On the other hand, trying to figure out when to take something at face value or to read more into it is challenging in the extreme.
However, if given the choice between boring and challenging, I’d probably go with the latter. So go know…
What about “when in doubt, ask pointed question” attitude? I am someone who doesn’t do well with lack of clarity. If I am unsure, I ask direct questions.
I totally agree – but sometimes people are too scared of rocking the boat to ask the direct question. Also – I tend to see things somewhere in-between black and white on principle, and find that direct questions don’t always get completely honest answers, and that an honest answer reflecting what the speaker believes is truth can be honest one day and become dishonest the next as the beliefs change.