HaBitza

everyone lists about something

I just couldn’t resist!  For all Mikado lovers, with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan.

For the tune, check out the link at the end of this post.

IRRITATED DATER:

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list
Of dating offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There’s the pestilential nuisances who never take a bath —
All guys who have flabby hands and irritating laughs —
All girls who go on dates galore just for the free latte —
All guys who never will shake hands, negia holds, they say —
And all the lousy matchmakers who constantly insist —
That this shidduch is the best — they’d none of ‘em be missed!

CHORUS

He’s got ‘em on the list — she’s got ‘em on the list;
And they’ll none of ‘em be missed — they’ll none of ‘em be missed.

IRRITATED DATER:

There’s the guy who thinks he’s the bee’s knees, and talks without a pause —
I’ve got him on the list!  I’ve got him on the list!
And the girl who eats spaghetti and it lands up in her hair,
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, while he sticks to you like glue,
The virtues of all dates he’s been on,  not including you;
And the girl from the yishuvim, who thinks that everyone’s spoiled,
And who “doesn’t think she’d dress like that”, verpatchket and vershmoiled (not a word but it sorta rhymes)
And that singular anomaly, the lady rabbanit —
Some  don’t think she’d be missed — perhaps  she would be missed!

CHORUS

He’s got her on the list — she’s got him on the list;
And I don’t think they”ll be missed — I’m sure they won’t be missed!

The original song goes something like this (it’s traditional to meddle with the lyrics):

Photo by KaCey97007′s photostream on flickr