Creative Dating

Couldn’t not respond to this!  Deena wrote:

P.S. The flip side, of course, is that if there are things we could be doing differently on dates, would it not make sense to try to figure out what those things are in order to try to create a change? Maypole dancing? More complimenting? More British accents?

There are many ways to date creatively (or create datively, depending on how drunk you are) (shame on you)…

British accents; compliments; maypole dancing; – it’s a start, but apart from the maypole dancing perhaps, doesn’t really show commitment to creativity.

For the truly creative amongst you, let’s stretch this a little further.

Segregated buses: Nothing to speed a date along than to travel together in a segregated bus.  Either you keep the rules and then absence makes the heart grow fonder as you try to figure out if you’ll meet again at the end of the ride.  This could count as two dates – the meeting before you get on, and the meeting after you get off.  And if you decide not to date again, you could always sneak out before the planned last stop.  Or – and this may be more interesting – you could sit together on a segregated bus.  This can give valuable lessons in working together in the face (or faces) of adversity, not to mention possibilities to demonstrate your martial arts skills.

Clean dating (not what you think..):  Fix a time to clean your house together.  That way you can say you’re not faking anything, you’re being completely natural, opening up (although perhaps put those … away before he/she comes… who dragged you up anyway…).  At the same time you are checking out your potential life partner’s cleaning skills – invaluable if you’re planning a life together.  And most importantly, if the date doesn’t work out, at least you have a clean house to show for it.  And if it’s not clean, you can draw your own conclusions.

Davening dates:  These are a great way to check out your partner’s spirituality.  Arrange to meet for a day.  Make sure to meet some place that has synagogues, shtiebels, or any appropriate praying place.  This could also work for other religions apart from Judaism, although I think whirling dervish religions are probably not suitable.  In the forms of prayer that is.  (or is my ignorance showing?).  Make sure to attend all three prayer services – Shacharit (morning), Mincha (afternoon) and Ma’ariv (evening).  First of all take note – do both of you go in?  do both of you hang out outside waiting for one of you to go in?  Do both of you say “well, I know we said… but…nah, let’s go bowling..”..?  Then observe carefully and note the following criteria in order to assess your date’s spirituality:

Shockling (swaying back and forth, for the uninitiated):  to be judged on the basis of depth, speed, frequency, variety (back and forth, round and round, occasional jumping) and creativity.
Perspiration:  on a scale of 1-10, or rated by the number of handkerchief wipes
Clapping:  Some do, some don’t – whatever takes your fancy
Eyes: closed – truly spiritual;  squeezed shut – fighting the yetzer hara;  open and glazed – in transcendental trance;  open and roving – well, what would you think?!
Length of time:  same as everyone else – probably same as everyone else; much shorter – perhaps more practical than spiritual (when are we going bowling?); a little longer – possibly more spiritual than practical; a lot longer - either a show-off or really doesn’t enjoy your company.

Have a great time. Really.