I am what I am…

So, like, I went to this amazing party at the bitza, and then this frog comes and starts up with me!

So I’m, like, “but you’re a frog!  what are you doing here?”
So he goes, “I’m not really a frog, I’m really a prince, but I need to be loved for my personality..”
So I go “yuk!  so uncool…” and then this super good-looking, hunky type comes up to me and says

“Hi” in a really neat voice, and I squeaked “you’re Prince Charming!  I know who you are!”
And he goes “well, I’m not really Prince Charming, I’m actually a frog trying to find a date…”
And I go “yuk!  this sucks!”, and then someone near me says “hi” in this voice that sounds like Antonio Banderas, and it’s

Puss in Boots!  And he says “I’m not really Puss in Boots, I’m actually a very wealthy businessman looking for a soulmate, and you look like my cinderella!”
So, like, I couldn’t stop myself, I said “I’m not really cinderella, I’m really…”

The moral of the story is, as taught in a shiur by Shirley Bassey (a.k.a. Burly Chassis):

And some lyrics, for those who are youtubeaudio challenged…

I am what I am
I am my own special creation
So come take a look
Give me the hook or the ovation
It’s my world that I want to have a little pride in
My world and it’s not a place I have to hide in
Life’s not worth a damn till you can say
Hey world I am what I am

I am what I am
I don’t want praise
I don’t want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it’s noise
I think it’s pretty
And so what if I love each feather and each spangle
Why not try and see things from a different angle
Your life is a sham till you can say
Hey world I am what I am

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the ace
Sometimes the deuces
It’s my life and there’s no return and no deposit
One life, so it’s time to open up your closet
Life’s not worth a damn till you can say
Hey world I am what I am

mickeymouse prince photo by smarhero at flickr
boots photo by wonderferret at flickr
wicked stepmother photo by dawnzy58 at flickr