Too damn nice
Ever hear of this story?
Two people go out. Date #1 (and last). They sit across from each other for two hours, they smile, laugh, make conversation and it all seems pretty fine. But it’s clear to both that they don’t want to see each other again. What happened? The answers will probably be, “It just didn’t feel right,” or, “We just weren’t on the same wave length.” But maybe sometimes more is going on inside. If they were honest about it, there were things about the other person that really bothered them, even angered them, and on the date they decided to just leave well enough alone, smile the smile, part ways and choose never to interact again.
The last time you were on a date and he/she said something that annoyed you, what did you do? If your sister had said that, you wouldn’t hesitate to call her on it, but here you very possibly sit, smiling politely thinking, “Geez, that’s a terrible thing to say,” or, “Omigosh, I can’t believe she just said that.” *smile smile*
You might not even notice you’re doing it because for so many of us it’s so natural to just smile and nod when you’re with a stranger. You wouldn’t want to get all riled up, now would you?
Smile! You're on a date!
Are we too nice and polite on dates? Because I do believe that to a certain extent this stops us from getting to know each other. If they say something that bothers you and you show your frustration or surprise about it, it gives them the opportunity to explain where they’re coming from. You may not marry the person but at least you were open and so you were able to get to know the person a bit better, as they were able to get to know you.
Photo by mattwi1s0n on flickr.
Very true! To hell with smiling!
I wonder if you’re serious. Because there is so much truth in it! I know a couple who were not interested in each other so when they decided to hang out together one day, their guards were down and they ended up arguing about a bunch of different things. They had such a good time that they started hanging out and they ended up getting married. But we argue and are open in different situations, in ways we wouldn’t argue and be open if we were on a date or trying to make a good impression on someone.