Are you the Rashi of dating profiles?
For those of you who don’t know, Rashi is probably the most famous and used commentator on the Torah and Talmud.
Now, at least Rashi was basing his commentary on something concrete. But are we doing the same when we read into 
people’s profiles? I recently was looking at a profile and didn’t really like how he wrote about himself. I decided to read it to a friend and she asked me what I didn’t like about it. I went through the whole thing explaining why this and that bothered me and then when I finished I said, “Basically everything that bothers me is my own interpretation on what he wrote.”
Once I read it aloud I realized for myself what I was doing. But are we even conscious how much interpretation we’re giving to things when really we can’t know what a person means by what they write, beyond what they wrote?
So, maybe when he writes that he likes fishing he isn’t necessarily going to force you to come along and when she writes that she’s close with her family it doesn’t mean that she calls her mother 10 times a day for advice on everything from what to have for breakfast to what book to read before going to sleep. I think often our interpretations are built on fears we have and if we see something resembling a familiar experience that we didn’t like, we can be turned off even if the person is nothing close to the original experience.
Finally, I am not saying to ignore your thoughts. If you are worried he’s going to pressure you to go fishing with him, then fine, keep that in mind and at some point once you’re talking, you can find out the truth. These interpretations are sort of like insticts and it is important to see if any of them are true and, of course, if they actually matter in the end.
Maybe fishing will be the best thing that ever happened to you!
Photo by Lawrie Cate on flickr.
Guilty as charged! My “favorite” parshanut: I avoid the ones who emphasize how much they work out and post all these super-formal posed pictures to their profile; I always think “if he is so into his physical appearance, he will probably expect me to use makeup every day and iron and stuff…” ;)
haha I can relate! :)
Interesting stuff!
Something that I realised recently (as a writer) is that the ability to describe yourself is something that seems to come naturally to some people but not at all to others, in the same way that being photogenic does.
Some people just know how to play to the camera, without even thinking about it, they smile photogenically and come out looking beautiful.
Other people just know what to write about themselves, how to avoid misconceptions, describe themselves accurately and come out looking their best.
Which is why I’m happy that even though the camera doesn’t like me, the page does!
And is it just me or is the snowfall slowing up on this page?