Doula speed dating
For those of you who actually know what a doula is, yep, you read it right! A doula is a person that helps a woman while she is giving birth. Anyway, supposedly for the first time ever there is doula speed dating and it’s taking place in beautiful Vancouver. (I’m so proud.) According to one of the people organizing it, the idea is that it’s important to go with your instinct regarding your doula and only to choose a doula with whom you feel a certain connection. So on the eve of this speed dating, couples will get a few minutes with a bunch of different doulas and then get to see who they felt good about.
While this is very innovative (and organized, among others, by a woman whose organization is called Adar Birth Services – yes, after the month of Adar – read here why she chose that name) I don’t know about you but this type of evening wouldn’t really attract me. You know why? Because it feels so random. For most services we need, especially really serious ones like those that would be used during a birth, we will take a recommendation from a friend in a second over another totally competent, but random service provider.
That is a major issue with dating as well, including speed dating and singles events. I think the randomness is often too difficult for us to deal with and it’s hard to move past the randomness and truly start to get to know someone – especially where there are, say, 10 other random people in the room (or on the website) for you to consider.
This si not to say that these other options shouldn’t exist. Just that I keep thinking more and more how true it is that the less randomness in dating, the better. People don’t like random. People don’t feel comfortable with it. There is so much unknown. And possibly so much less in common. Of course I believe that every story exists, including the “random” stories of people meeting in random places, etc. etc. But I do think it might be “easier” to meet the right person through someone you know as opposed to through an event filled with random people or on a regular dating website where you have no connection to the other person that you know of.
Thoughts?
First thing that came into my mind was speed dating with three chairs at each table, one for a doula who if the conversation is going well will just see that both parties are comfortable, bring them drinks, wipe the sweat from their foreheads, remove distractions (e.g. answer either of their cellphones if it rings), but will also fill awkward silences, suggest topics of conversation, etc.
Couples who use doulas on their dates (speed or otherwise)
* -Are less likely to experience dating burnout
* -Tend to have shorter engagements
* -Are more likely to have an easier time choosing invitations
* -Are less likely to need rabbinic intervention
* -Feel more satisfied with their dating experience regardless of the outcome
That is HILARIOUS!