HaBitza

Dear boy with an online dating profile,

You know how you could be going along your life, la dee da dee da, and suddenly something happens that just throws you off big-time?

Well, I could just plummet into the depths of despair from your web-dating profile. (A little drama always hurts somebody.) Why? Because when I first started reading it, I really connected. You wrote such nice things about who you are, how you see yourself, etc. But when I got to the part about what you’re looking for in a partner, I felt a dark cloud come over me. How in the world could I ever be able to fit all the descriptions given for the dreamy girl you’re looking for? Are you looking for a goddess who is really quite wonderfully, perfectly super-human in every way? She “will” like all the same things as you, be naturally altruistic, a wonderful cook, perfectly gorgeous… You will get along perfectly and “naturally” constantly. You will love doing everything together (ah yes, of course, going out for a night on the town and staying home all snuggly watching a movie). The list goes on.

It saddens me because I actually liked how you sounded. You seem serious, kind, fun and creative… But when I saw what you were looking for in a wife, my bubble quickly burst and I felt that since I could never live up to such standards and expectations, I won’t write you.

Too bad. I do wish you luck because you do seem nice. Maybe if one day I become the most awesome thing to have hit planet Earth, I’ll give you a shout. I assume you’ll still be available.

Be well,

Gal with an online dating profile

(photo by Marcin Wichary at flickr.)