So, you don’t like singles events. But why?
Two weeks ago we put up our first HaBitza.com poll. We asked you how you feel about singles events. No one loves them. Shocker. Most of you hate them.
Here are the numbers at the time of the publishing of this post:
59 people voted.
27 (46%) said: Kill me now. Can it be more awkward and depressing?
No one said: LOVE them! It’s what I live for.
12 people (20%) said: Nothing to lose. May as well try.
12 people (20%) said: I’m married. Thank God these are behind me.
8 people (14%) said: Other.
A theory exists that married people don’t realize that singles hate singles events. Interesting phenomenon. It could be that this is only because marrieds don’t need to think about singles events (a single event to a married person is like a lamaze class to a single guy). But I wonder if married people who are planning singles events know how we feel about them. As I wrote earlier, I can appreciate the effort and the thought behind it. But maybe that’s not enough.
What is it about singles events that is so difficult? Meat-market is one thing you hear. Fish bowl is another. Yes, the thought of sitting in a room with people checking each other out with that goal and no other is not the most pleasant. Something else I heard about them, I cannot write here out of fear of being offensive but if you plan singles events and want to know, please send me a private email.
Are singles events effective, though? I wonder…
Anyway, I know that for me, having married peers at an event can make all the difference. It creates an environment of normalcy. Today when I was talking to Vera about this topic, she pointed out that once you’re married it can be difficult to meet new people. So, why could there not be an event that has some kind of meaningful/interesting content (a musical evening, a good class or just awesome food) and let it be a social event for all “young adults” (or whatever specific age group) to meet new people. There could be a program at the event that helps new people meet each other without the focus being on making matches.
Please write your thoughts about singles events. What types of events are you attracted to? Which ones make you cringe? If you write your opinion, the people who are planning these events can change them accordingly!
If you haven’t voted yet, please feel free to below. The poll is still active.
Deena
Vera Resnick
One thought. I like (so to say) speed datings. I admit I participated in not more that 4, so I’m no expert here. I really liked the idea of HAVING to talk to everyone, so all that anxiety of “hard to get to that great guy with all these models around” evaporates. He will get to meet me even for those 5 or 10 mins. And all those guys I wouldn’t otherwise give a chance, will get their chance to meet me and other ladies too. Beemet, only an emotionally challenged individual cannot handle 10 mins with mr/s looser/ bruto/ …/ ect. They also do not allow for dead air/meat market/everyone is eyeing/ atmosphere we all hate. Having helped organize one of those, I know it’s a monumental amount of work and unfortunately not everyone appreciates it. Easier to call a lecturer and let everyone “smingle” (nice word for shuk basar) later.
Judith, yesterday we were talking about speed dating and I’ve never done it but I was saying that to me it also sounds like a pretty good idea. And you’ve written some real pluses to the whole thing. Interesting that it takes so much work to organize it. I guess that makes sense. Too bad. I wonder if they bring better results than regular singles events.
(cough , cough)… no statistics that I know of…sorry. The amount of work relates to a) searching for the 15 some males and females 50/50). You don’t extensibly publish the event because it’s not something you want everyone to join, lo naim to reject prospects, say on age grounds. Space is limited and you have to use your own criteria to pick within the availabily, an homogeneous crowd. b) Some people declined their spot a day or two before (or an hour before), and can’t tell you what a nightmare it can be to fill up those empty spots at the last minute. c)Then there is this administrator buzzing every 10 mins so that (usually males) shift to the next chair. There is always this beauty whom no guy finds it easy to walk out on and move on to the next in line, balagan. I was only helping a little, not so simple…but very rewarding – and fun.
Wow, it’s serious logistics!