A dating strike
I’ve heard many single women tell me they’ve thought of going on a dating diet. Reasons I hear are feeling emotionally drained and feeling the need to focus on other things in their lives. (Is it only girls that consider going on dating breaks?)
I wonder what would happen if we all decided to go on a dating strike. Yes, a strike. Not just one of us here and there but the whole Bitza choosing not to date for a month. OK, a week… A day? :)
But seriously, what if none of us made any choices around dating that week – no hearing about offers (if someone calls with an offer, say you’ll call back next week), no first dates… No talking about it. You go where you want to go without using beshert-hunting as a factor in your choices. Do you think the world would come to an end? Do you think anything unbelievable or super-natural would happen?
Someone pointed out to me that included in this strike would be HaBitza.com not being active. I told her that Habitza.com is like the ambulance that has to keep functioning even when ambulance workers are on strike. Pikuach nefesh, of course. But, of course, we’d work on a limited basis. Maybe just focused on spreading news of the strike or something.
So, are you with me?!?!?!!?
P.S. Of course those of us who are already dating someone don’t need to put it on hold. Don’t come back to me crying when the person dumped you after you ignored them for a week.
Photo by aflcio2008 on flickr.
(strike leader over megaphone, and strikers responding)
“What do we want?” “NO SHTUS!” “When do we want it?” “NOW!”
“TWO FOUR SIX EIGHT, CAN’T GET ME A SECOND DATE!”
:) Good one.
Best. Idea. Ever.
A major problem with men is that bad behavior goes unchecked. While some men are extremely resistant to change, we do appear capable of it. One thing that has always bothered me is the lists guys always have. Guys can continue to hold out for the perfect girl and never have to lower their expectations, because there’s always a steady stream of girls waiting to be subjected to the misery. As long as you always have another girl, there’s no need to reflect on your flaws. When I’ve had a bad date, I’ve internalized it and examined myself to figure out what went wrong and why, but I don’t think I’m in the majority there. That’s why guys never need a dating break, because we can say “forget her” and just move on. And maybe that’s why girls feel like guys don’t mature, because guys don’t have to think and grow. Why should we? There’s always another girl. (That was said with sarcasm, let the feminist agenda blow up the comment board.)
So yes, if the girls can stomach being single a little longer, I’d welcome a dating strike from girls. If not that, at least girls being more picky than “my mother’s friend told me that he is frum and has a pulse, so I’m going to give him a try.” Hishtadlus, people, not creative insanity. Girls accepting dates from guys who have serious flaws are getting themselves in trouble. Maybe part of the problem with these girls is that they’ve watched too many movies in which two actors who should never be together end up falling in love. Sometimes a jerk is really just that… a jerk.
I think this would be an investment of short-term nervousness from the girls, to salvage their long-term satisfaction. Selectivity from girls would give guys something to think about. It’d be interesting to see how the guys respond. Would we see improvement? Pressure on guys? Is it possible? Probably not, but it’s worth a shot, isn’t it?
Ish, interesting you understood it to mean a female strike. Maybe that is what’s needed.
Anyway, also, you seem to think so low of guys. Why? I have heard people talk about how there aren’t enough “good guys” out there or people say, “boys will be boys” (an excuse for bad behavior). But I don’t let those things get to me because I don’t think low of guys. So why do you, I am curious to understand.
Also, I’m confused. When I wrote a piece about women’s responsibility not to let guys get away with bad behavior, you seemed to disagree. But you like the idea of girls striking in order to teach guys a lesson.
http://habitza.com/2009/11/10/ladies-we-have-a-responsibility/
How do the two fit together?
I once heard a married man give advice to an older single man about finding a wife. Basically, he told him that there are so many girls out there, he could simply have his pick. I was thinking that most women would rather remain single than marry this guy. He should have been telling the guy that he needs to pay attention to his personal grooming, that he needs to get a job and so on. All of this conversation was in front of me. Luckily I found it amusing rather than humiliating.
As for striking, it can be rather liberating.
Yuck.