HaBitza

Guess what we’re talking about.

Single events, of course.

These are typical answers you’ll hear from a single person when you ask them how they feel about singles events. You’ll also hear awkward stories about playing networking games (called “singles games” at these events) and being “forced” to talk to people you know without a shadow of a doubt you will never be standing under a chuppa with.

This is such a sad state of affairs for a few reasons. First, I wonder if singles events have improved at all (it seems that singles dreaded them years ago and we still do till this day) (oh, at least it’s like a wonderful, long-lasting tradition). Second, for the most part, the people planning them, I will assume, are lovely, well-meaning people. They are just trying to help.

"I just came for the food."

But the truth is the truth. And what is the truth? That when I hear about an event, I considering it. When I suddenly find out it’s a singles thing, I have a strong aversion that barely allows me to consider it any longer.

I ask you, dear singles and non-singles who sincerely care to help, is there no alternative?

Honestly, I understand why singles events exist. If you go to a regular event, they may be fun but they are often not conducive to meeting new people. And you aren’t necessarily meeting people who are looking to get married. At a singles event, you know that supposedly everyone is there because they want to get married. But need it be so painful? Also, if there does continue to be singles events, should they be planned by marrieds? I know people are just trying to help but when it’s marrieds planning these events, it suddenly starts feeling like you’re a chesed case needing help from someone more fortunate (and successful) than yourself.

I think one must ask two questions: First, should singles events still exist at all and second, if so, how should they change? My first question is based on the very important fact that at events, having married peers creates a very different, and much more relaxed and healthy environment. Maybe singles events are just too forced and become a very uncomfortable meat market. As for the second reason, assuming that singles events continue to exist for a reason, how can they be improved so maybe we could actually go and have a nice time?

Notice that we currently have a poll up about this topic. Let us know how you feel when you hear about a single events.

Photo by Green Garden Girl at flickr.